remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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