i barfeds in our rink
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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