Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Send help, water and tortillas.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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