..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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