We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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