Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
