I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
