If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize