I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
