Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
