It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
