im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
