Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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