youre lurking in front of me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
