I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
