i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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