On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
