Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
