Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
