then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Of course I have a pirate flag
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
