I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
