making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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