I skipped work to stalk him.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
