The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
