Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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