Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
