Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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