Fine. I'll sleep in my office
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
