OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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