some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
