when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
