420 ftw
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
