the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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