HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
