Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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