Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
