kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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