Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize