peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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