Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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