My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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