i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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