It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize