I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
