goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
