then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
