dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
