She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
