Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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