Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Pants are for mortals
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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