Will you blow on my dice?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
