so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
