you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
