actually, I'm a sock model
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
