I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
