I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
