Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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