Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
