I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
