Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
