When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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