tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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