I should be sponsored by Trojan
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
